No, fly me, fly me, far as pole from pole;
Rise Alps between us! and whole oceans roll!
Ah, come not, write not, think not once of me,
Nor share one pang of all I felt for thee.
~ Eloisa to Abelard (Alexander Pope)
10
Oct
11
Protected: suportahan taka
You cannot trivialize another person’s emotions just because you haven’t gone through the same experience and do not understand what she’s going through. You cannot trivialize another person’s emotions especially if you haven’t gone through a similar experience and do not understand what she’s going through.
To judge another based on how you think she should react to circumstances that you interpret based on your own experiences, real or vicarious, is not only wrong, it’s arrogant. To expect a person to act the way you imagined you would under the same circumstances, and to visibly show your disappointment when she doesn’t, is condescending.
It is not just one event that dictates how a person feels, and acts. A lot of things, a lot of thoughts, in fact a person’s entire history contributes to how she reacts to external factors. Every action and reaction, every conversation, all movies seen, books read, songs heard, these all go into a person’s unconscious and influence a person’s every movement, every course of action. So don’t even pretend to understand what is going on or sympathize with how a person feels. Unless you have the exact same history and went through exactly the same things, at exactly the same time, you won’t.
Just let the other person be and try not to judge. Tolerance and respect may be the best gifts you could give to a person. Give generously for you might need others to give them back to you someday.
*Melanie Marquez
02
Oct
11
tapos. tapos?
Maraming bagay sa mundo ang hindi pwedeng bigkisin sa mga kontrata ng relasyon. Iisa lang ang batas ng relasyon, pagmamahal. Kapag iyon ang nawala, wala na ring silbi ang katotohanan ng mga kontrata. Ang tanging katotohanang naiiwan ay ang pait ng pinawalang-bisang kontrata.
At kahit na anong pagkakait ang gawin, kahit na anong pagkukunwari ang ipantapal, kung talagang wala na ang pagmamahal, anuman ang kahulugan nito, anuman ang anyo nito, anuman ang ekspresyon nito, ay totoong tapos na nga ang kontrata.
At kung minsan ay tinatapos din ang relasyon kahit wala namang pag-ibig na tinatapos.
Totoong nakapanghihinayang. Dahil sino ba naman ang may gustong magputol ng mga ugnayan? Liban na lang kung marahil sa simula pa lang ay maling-mali na ang binubuong relasyon, anuman ang pagkakahulugan natin sa mali. Pero ano pa ang magagawa ng mga panghihinayang, ng mga buntong-hininga, kung kathang-isip na lang ang pagmamahal sa asawa, o kanino mang karelasyon, ay dahan-dahang magpapaunawa sayo ng dahan-dahan ding pagpigtal sa mga emosyong nagkukurdon sa isa’t isa.
Hindi pa rin naman talaga mahirap intindihin iyon, iyong paghihiwalay. Sino ba ang may sabing iisa lang ang dapat na puntahan ng mga relasyon? Sino ang maysabi na mali ang maghiwalay? Sinong maysabing lahat ng tinatapos na relasyon ay dapat na malungkot? Pwede rin naman sigurong maging masaya sa pagpilas ng mga dokumento ng ugnayan. Maaaring nandoon ang pait, hindi mo maiaalis iyon. Pero hindi ibig sabihin no’n ay dapat na malungkot ang lahat ng pagtatapos.
~ mula sa maikling kwentong Kasal ni Eli Rueda Guieb
05
Aug
11
i want you to know one thing
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
If you forget me. Pablo Neruda.
26
Oct
10
familiar? ;p
“Moreover, I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe that’s not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must have boundaries in the first place, right? But I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog’s money, my dog’s time—everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every sense of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.”
~ Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love
09
Sep
10
Coda
There’s little in taking or giving,
There’s little in water or wine;
This living, this living, this living
Was never a project of mine.
Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is
The gain of the one at the top,
For art is a form of catharsis,
And love is a permanent flop,
And work is the province of cattle,
And rest’s for a clam in a shell,
So I’m thinking of throwing the battle–
Would you kindly direct me to hell?
~ Dorothy Parker
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