ONCE UPON A TIME a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?”

The girl said, “NO!”

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased … She did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, travelled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, had all the hot water to herself, and never had pubic hairs under the toilet seat lid. She watched chick flicks, never had football on, never wore lacy lingerie that went up her butt, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked good in sweat pants and shirts, and burped, swore, and farted whenever the hell she felt the need.

THE END