04
Oct
11

Don’t judge my brother, he is not a book.*

You cannot trivialize another person’s emotions just because you haven’t gone through the same experience and do not understand what she’s going through. You cannot trivialize another person’s emotions especially if you haven’t gone through a similar experience and do not understand what she’s going through.

To judge another based on how you think she should react to circumstances that you interpret based on your own experiences, real or vicarious, is not only wrong, it’s arrogant. To expect a person to act the way you imagined you would under the same circumstances,  and to visibly show your disappointment when she doesn’t, is condescending.

It is not just one event that dictates how a person feels, and acts. A lot of things, a lot of thoughts, in fact a person’s entire history contributes to how she reacts to external factors. Every action and reaction, every conversation, all movies seen, books read, songs heard, these all go into a person’s unconscious and influence a person’s every movement, every course of action. So don’t even pretend to understand what is going on or sympathize with how a person feels. Unless you have the exact same history and went through exactly the same things, at exactly the same time, you won’t.

Just let the other person be and try not to judge. Tolerance and respect may be the best gifts you could give to a person. Give generously for you might need others to give them back to you someday.

*Melanie Marquez

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Faute de Mieux


Travel, trouble, music, art
A kiss, a frock, a rhyme --
I never said they feed my heart
But still they pass my time.

- Dorothy Parker

 

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